Q) Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
A) Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.
Q) Why do women have smaller feet than men?
A) So they can stand closer to the sink.
Q) How do you fix a woman's watch?
A) You don't... there's a clock on the oven.
Q) Why do men pass gas more than women?
A) Because women don't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
Q) If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
A) The dog... he'll shut up after you let him in!
Q) How many men does it take to open a beer?
A) None. It should be open when she brings it.
Q) What's worse than a male chauvanist pig?
A) A woman who won't do what she's told!
Really anti-Women? Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a women's sex drive by 90 percent. Wedding cake.
Marriage is a 3 Ring circus: engagement 'ring', wedding 'ring' and suffer'ring'.
In the beginning...God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
Why do women have smaller feet than men? So they can stand closer to the sink.
Why do men fart more than women? Because women won't shut up long enough to build up pressure.
A beggar walks up to a well dressed woman who is shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, "I haven't eaten anything in four days." She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had your will power."
Men have their faults. But women have only two. Everything they say and everything they do.
Women are like guns, keep one around long enough and you're going to want to shoot it.
If your dog is barking at the back door, and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first? The dog of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in.
One golfer tells another: "Hey, guess what! I got a set of golf clubs for my wife" The other replies, "GREAT Trade!"
Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.
How do men define a 50/50 relationship? She cooks/I eat; She cleans/I dirty; She irons/I wrinkle.
All wives are alike, but they have different faces so you can tell them apart.
What are two reasons why women don't mind their own business? 1. No mind 2. No business.
How do you know when a women's about to say something smart? When she starts her sentence with "A wise man once told me..."
A man and a woman were stranded in an elevator together and they knew they were gonna die. Then the woman turns to the man and says "Make me feel like a woman before I die." The man takes off his shirt and socks and says "Fold them!"
How can you tell a man is a Male Chauvinist Pig? He thinks "Harass" is two words.
It's not true that married men live longer than a single man. It only seems that way. |
