ARIES--You are the pioneer type and hold most people in contempt. You are quick tempered and scornful of advice. You are impatient. Basically, you are a prick. You seldom think others are good enough for you. You masturbate a lot.
TAURUS--You are practical and persistent. You have dogged determination and work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bullheaded. You are nothing but a goddamned communist. You have an intense love for whips and chains.
GEMINI--You are a quick, intelligent thinker. People like you because you are bisexual. You expect too much for too little. This means you are cheap, selfish, and a bastard. Geminis are notorious for thriving on incest.
CANCER--You are sympathetic and understanding of other people's problems. Everyone thinks you are a sucker. You are always putting things off. That is why you are always on welfare and won't be worth a shit. Most Cancers are very frigid.
LEO--You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are pushy. Most Leos are bullies. You are vain and cannot tolerate honest criticism. Your arrogance is disgusting. Leos are thieving bastards and get their kicks from sniffing bicycle seats and kissing mirrors.
VIRGO--You are a logical type and hate disorder. This shit-picking is sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and often fall asleep while screwing. Virgos make good garbage collectors.
LIBRA--You are the artistic type and have difficulty with reality. Your chances for employment or monetary gain are good because you are a rip-off. If you are male you are probably queer. Most Libra women are whores. All Librans die of venereal disease.
SCORPIO--You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You will achieve great success because of your lack of ethics. You are a perfect son-of-a-bitch. Most Scorpios are murdered. Scorpio women give good head because they have absolutely no morals.
SAGITTARIUS--You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a tendency to rely on luck because you have no talent. The majority of Sagittarians are drunks and/or pot heads. You are most often impotent. People laugh at you a lot because you are always getting fucked.
CAPRICORN--You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You are basically chicken-shit. You fear people and relationships. Most Capricorns prefer rubber dolls. There has never been a Capricorn of any importance. You should kill yourself.
AQUARIUS--You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie a great deal. On the other hand, you are prone to be careless and impractical. This trait causes you to make the same mistakes repeatedly. Everyone thinks you are nothing but a fucking jerk.
PISCES--You have a vivid imagination and often think you are being followed by the FBI and CIA. You have a minor influence over your friends and people tend to resent you. You lack confidence and are generally a coward. Pisces people screw small animals and pick their noses frequently. |
