ISSUE 4
January '06


Undocumented Immigrant Games coming to Valley

The Arizona Republic
January 16, 2006

PHOENIX, AZ - The Arizona-Mexico Commission, a joint program between the governors of Arizona and Sonora dedicated to fostering economic and cultural development, has partnered with the Grand Canyon State Games to create the International Undocumented Immigrant Games.

The Olympic-style tournament will showcase five sports the undocumented immigrants will certainly excel at: larceny, assault, drug trafficking, drug consumption, and authority evasion. Games will be held in multiple locations across the valley including Gilbert, Surprise, and El Mirage, as well as West and South Phoenix.

The games will pit undocumented immigrant teams performing the sports while American teams attempt to prevent them from completing the activity. Particularly interesting will be the authority evasion event in which teams will travel south to the Arizona-Mexico border and the undocumented immigrant team will attempt to enter the United States while the American team will attempt to apprehend them using both less than lethal and lethal methods.

The commission will underwrite Sonoran teams and athletes in every sport, helping with travel expenses and housing. The undocumented immigrant athletes offered to pay their way but the thousands of pesos they had saved for the trip wound up amounting to only $16.73 in real money and the commission refused to take payment in the form of home-made tortillas.

The idea for some type of Sonora-Arizona competition was floated two decades ago but never really took off, commission member Mary Rose Wilcox said.

"We just think it's great for their athletes and ours to get this chance to compete in friendly athletic competition," said Wilcox, also a Maricopa County supervisor.

"They're experts in larceny, and we're experts in policing," she said. "There will be a lot of learning, from the players to coaches to officials." The commission has worked with the Sonoran state government for more than 50 years and has sponsored athletic exchanges in the past. For something of this magnitude, however, it will look for private funding and possibly residents to house athletes, Wilcox said.

Erik Widmark, executive director of the Grand Canyon State Games, said he was happy to be involved, though he and his staff will need to find more facilities willing to host competition.

"Unfortunately," Widmark said, "not many athletic facilities or residents are willing to donate their space for the Undocumented Immigrant Games. Not the least of their worries is the amount of tagging the illegals… er, excuse me, the undocumented immigrants will leave behind on their walls."

In November, a contingent of Arizona athletes will travel to San Carlos, Mexico, to participate in a similar event called the White Trash Games featuring sports such as wife beating, beer drinking, tooth cleaning, and sibling sexual relations.

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©Copyright 2006, SHF News
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